Tuesday, 9 October 2012

Husband has difficulty climaxing

My husband and I have been married for just over a year but together for almost three. Our sex life is all over the place. We can have sex for three to five months straight with no problems at all, and then a week will come where he can't orgasm no matter what. We are going through that right now and are trying everything to make him orgasm. It took us an hour and a half last night but other nights we just give up. What can we do to make things go back to normal?




It's easy to get caught up in the idea that sex is always easy, spontaneous and consistent. The truth is, both men and women experience fluctuations in their sexual responses. Libido and orgasmic capability can vary depending on all kinds of factors – hormonal changes, childbirth, illness, stress levels, depression and anxiety.
Your pattern of occasional problems indicates that your husband's difficulty tends to correct itself, so there is probably nothing serious going on. He may, however, harbour some resentment through feeling that he always has to perform perfectly – and that would put him in a goal-oriented state that detracts from his sexual enjoyment. The best thing you can do is to stop putting pressure on him to achieve orgasm, especially at those times when it seems to be more challenging for him.
Instead of making orgasm a goal, I recommend you each focus on the giving and receiving of pleasure. Lovemaking will then be enhanced for both of you.
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Husband has difficulty climaxing

My husband and I have been married for just over a year but together for almost three. Our sex life is all over the place. We can have sex for three to five months straight with no problems at all, and then a week will come where he can't orgasm no matter what. We are going through that right now and are trying everything to make him orgasm. It took us an hour and a half last night but other nights we just give up. What can we do to make things go back to normal?




It's easy to get caught up in the idea that sex is always easy, spontaneous and consistent. The truth is, both men and women experience fluctuations in their sexual responses. Libido and orgasmic capability can vary depending on all kinds of factors – hormonal changes, childbirth, illness, stress levels, depression and anxiety.
Your pattern of occasional problems indicates that your husband's difficulty tends to correct itself, so there is probably nothing serious going on. He may, however, harbour some resentment through feeling that he always has to perform perfectly – and that would put him in a goal-oriented state that detracts from his sexual enjoyment. The best thing you can do is to stop putting pressure on him to achieve orgasm, especially at those times when it seems to be more challenging for him.
Instead of making orgasm a goal, I recommend you each focus on the giving and receiving of pleasure. Lovemaking will then be enhanced for both of you.